A Bucket of Sand
by Roweena5000
Summary: A collection of drabbles and one-shots, centering around Yugi and Yami/Atem. Some AU, some canon. Genre and rating will differ from drabble to drabble. 13. Thank You: Two friends battle their mutual loss. Post-canon.
1. 16 Facade

**A/N**: This is a collection of drabbles that was prompted by the LJ 100 -chances challenge, it remains to see if I will write them all, but I've written a few and whatever I come up with will go here. This is also me experimenting with a writing style that is new to me. A style that I love to read, and I highly admire those who can write it.

The genre and ratings will differ from story to story, but I doubt that any of them will be more then T-rated.

Happy reading!

**Title: **16. Facade

**Genre: **Angst

**Rating:** K

* * *

* * *

I feel their eyes on me, every move I make is carefully analyzed, and I cannot blame them. They trusted me, they trusted me because he did, and look where it got them.

I can see the accusation and anger in their eyes.

How can he be so calm?

Isn't he ashamed of what he did?

How can he be so cold?

What they do not know is that I am slowly falling. Without him, I am lost, so lost.

The smile, the cheerful mind, the supporting spirit. I am nothing without him, absolutely nothing.

They are right to question me I am useless after all. I couldn't even protect what matters most, how could I ever save the world?

Hero.

The word enters my mind uninvited and I almost lose the calm expression I've been so careful to keep, rather then to let anyone sense my inner turmoil. How many times haven't I heard that very word from his very lips, the one who sees me as the hero when in fact it is he who is my savior?

I cannot count them all, nor is this the time for thoughts that might very well lead me to tears. I have no time for tears and I have no time for remorse. I must fight, fight for him, take him back. Back to where he belongs, with me.

And for that very reason, I must keep the facade.

* * *

How'd I do?


	2. 43 Silent words

**Title: **43. Silent words**  
**

**Genre: **General/Comfort**  
**

**Rating: **K**  
**

* * *

You know what's funny? I never really believed in the spirit world, afterlife, ghosts, heaven or whatever you call it. I waved it off as the dream of those who feared death.

I didn't. Not with how close I was to it every day. It was natural for it to always be present, and I always wondered if this was my last day, if this was the day the bullies would beat me up bad enough for me to not wake up again. I'm not saying that I wanted to die, not at all, I was simply used to the idea.

And then it all changed.

_"Are you thinking about me again, aibou?" _

The voice echoes inside my mind, it never cease to amaze me how that strong resonating voice cannot be heard to anyone but myself when it seems so loud.

_"In a way, yes." _

The spirit seems to chuckle, he always does when I think of this. Even though he does not trespass on my private thoughts, he seems to sense when my thoughts steer in the direction of the paranormal. Maybe because he is a part of it, I do not know. What I do know is that he keeps me company, and for that I am ever so grateful.

* * *

How'd I do?


	3. 23 Enigma

**Title: **23. Enigma

**Genre: **General/Mystery

**Rating: **K

* * *

23. Enigma

What will you look like?

You cannot be circular, there's too many sharp edged pieces for that, but still, everything is possible. What if you're like a rhomb, or a cube, or one of those funny looking prisms? Are you a cube, do you look like the box? No, that would be too predictable, too easy, and you're nothing but.

This piece goes here, that one there, and this one goes... This one goes...

I don't know...

Can you hear me sigh? I wonder, and I wonder why it is that I'm talking to you like this.

Do you know?

Maybe I'll ask you once I know what you look like...

* * *

How'd I do?


	4. 73 Photograph

**Title: **73. Photograph

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort

**Rating: **K

* * *

The picture in my hand is old, the edges are a bit torn and the colors have faded, but none of it can take away the feeling in my heart when I look at this picture.

It shows two boys playing in the sand; one of them is holding up a small shovel and pointing proudly at the sand castle the two of them just made. He is laughing, the other boy is smiling, they look so happy.I sigh and draw a deep breath, almost feeling the smell of the sea from that day. It was before everything changed, before life showed two young boys just how cruel it could be.

None of them had known back then how a lifelong friendship turning into something more could throw their lives around so dramatically, how friends and parents would turn their back to the same boys they had vowed to love and support through everything.

None of the boys had known pain back then.

"Atem, what are you still doing up?"

The sleepy voice belongs to the young man standing in the doorway between our bedroom and living room, his hair tousled from sleep and a worried expression on his face. I can't help but smile at him, he was always so caring, he haven't lost that. Not yet, and I hope that he never will.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Again?"

He pads over the floor, sits down next to me on the sofa, and pulls me into his arms. I instinctively curl close to him, he's warm, I can't actually see him eyeing the photograph in my hand, I just know he does.

"You can't keep doing this, love. You have to let go."

"I know."

I sigh deeply and curl even closer to the warm body next to me, clinging to him as if he would disappear if I didn't hold on to him hard enough. It is my largest fear and the one thing that will never happen, no matter how ridiculous that may sound. I speak softly, for the first time admitting it aloud.

"I don't want to lose you."

I feel how he stiffens for a second before relaxing and rubbing his hands over my back.

"You will never lose me, love. You know that."

"I know, but I still fear it. I've lost everyone who's ever meant anything to me, if I were to lose you as well..."

I trail off, no words are needed, we both know the answer. We both know the pain.

"I understand."

And I know he does. Suddenly I feel so tired, and I feel the old photograph slipping from my grip, and as it lands upside down on the floor, I am asleep.

* * *

How'd I do?


	5. Us

**Title: **Us

**Genre: **General/Angst

**Rating: **K

* * *

Who are you?

Who am I?

Am I still myself, or am I no better than the one living inside of me?

The one who murder and make people go mad without a second thought, all in the name of the game. I can feel him, if it can be called a 'him', stirring deep inside me. My thoughts are on the boundaries of treacherous, I know it wasn't just the 'game', I know it was equally in my name. My name who used to be so innocent, _game, _that is me. Everyone knows about me, the boy who never plays with others, the boy who always is beaten on by others.

But no one knows about the other me, the bully, the tormentor, the killer. No one but me, and no matter how much I would like to stop him, I cannot. He does not bow to my will, nor does he listen to pleads of mercy from me. He says that they do not deserve it, that they are evil, that they hurt me, and therefore must pay the price.

I cannot agree with him, no one deserves to die, not like that. I shudder when remembering the burning man at the cafe. So many screams...

Turning to my side, I see the shadow on my wall, so similar to mine, had I not known better I would have thought it to be nothing but my own shadow lying on the shadow twin of the bed.

The worst part isn't him though, or the punishments he deals. No, that is not it. The worst part is I, because I sometimes think that he may be right...

* * *

**A/N **- This was not prompted by the LJ 100 challenge, but I still think it fits in my bucket, so here it is.


	6. 64 Green

**Title: **

**Genre: **General/Angst (mild)

**Rating: **K

* * *

The light was green.

They all said the same thing. So many witnesses had seen it coming, and no one had been able to do anything.

Some of them are here today, standing in the back row, silently watching. I do not want them here. They do not belong here; they have no reason being here, other then being there on that day.

I wasn't there.

I wonder if he can see us down here, if he can see me as clearly as I still see him before my inner eye.

To make it worse, that single sentence keeps ringing in my head.

_The light was green. _


	7. 4 The Golden Year

**Title: **4. The Golden Year

**Genre: **Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

**Rating: **K

**A/N: **This is an idea that has been swimming in my head for a while, and to make it work and also be more realistic, I have messed up the canon timeline some. I'm in the opinion that after Atlantis, there should be need for hopitals and doctors, and that having already skipped so much of school, missing more is not an option. I hope you'll enjoy this little excursion of mine. :)

* * *

4. The Golden Year

He stood steady, determined, about to make his final move, the move which would change everything.

And then it was as if the world stopped turning, frozen in time, leaving him nothing but images from the year gone by flashing through his mind.

Three weeks after Atlantis, when he had finally been let out of the hospital, the spirit had smiled and welcomed him home, despite the fact that he had been by Yugi's side during all of the hospital stay. He had also reminded Yugi about the doctor's orders to take it easy, eat proper food and rest. Yugi hadn't minded much, and the spirit had seemed fully content with watching Yugi and his friends make the most of their last days of summer and freedom.

School had come with little new to show, except the annoying new Math teacher and the freshly painted gymnasium, to which the spirit had commented that it didn't make much of a difference. Yugi had agreed.

There were the quiet nights of playing games in his room, chess being the favourite, when the spirit would tell him where the chess-pieces would go and Yugi would move them for him. The utter mess after the movie night with the gang, where Honda and Jonouchi had resolved into a popcorn war, and the spirit's deadpanned comment had been 'I never would have thought Jonouchi one for throwing food away.'

Spending winter break participating in Kaiba's latest boast-of-a-project/excuse-to-find-Yugi's-weakness in, and thus Kaiba's tactic to defeat him at, Duel Monsters. The seemingly normal tournament had turned into a freak show of pink hair and morphed fairy tales. The spirit had later told Yugi that he preferred the Shadow Realm over girls who threw their glass slippers at his head.

When he had received his high school diploma, and could have sworn that he felt pride and joy oozing from the spirit who had congratulated him as if he had won a marathon.

The terrifying moments when he had thought all to be lost, only to have Atem, armed with his new-discovered name, take his hand and tell him it would be alright.

The boat ride to this place and the quiet, peaceful even, preparations of decks. The awkward moment with Anzu, awkward because Yugi did not dare tell her that he understood how she felt, because he felt the same.

The moment when Atem and himself had been separated for the third time, but for the first time not torn apart. The tentative smile he had offered and the warm one he had been given in return from the once Pharaoh; and the brief tangle of fingers.

Yugi felt the world slowly coming alive again, and as it did, he lifted his gaze from the cards he held to the man standing before him and smiled broadly.

"We had a good year, didn't we?"

Atem looked confused for a split second of time before he smiled back.

"That we did, aibou, a wonderful year."

Yugi could have said it then, he wanted to, but in the end he just smiled and put his final card down. There wasn't really a point in saying it, in clinging to something that both was, and never could be, more.

Because no matter how much Yugi and Atem loved each other, putting the words down would steal the magic away, and rob them both of a year well spent.


	8. 20 In The Heat Of The Moment

**Title: **In The Heat Of The Moment

**Genre: **Humour

**Rating: **K+

**Dedicated to **spirithorse

* * *

It wasn't meant to happen, nothing planned, nothing he even thought he would be capable of. And yet, it happened. Looking back, he couldn't even remember exactly what had possessed him to do it.

After all, he was happy in his life wasn't he? He had friends, a man he loved and who loved him in return, the perfect man to be honest, and had no need for anything even slightly adventurous.

However, the allure, the thrill, danger or whatever it was, had in the end proven to be too much of a temptation to resist.

And so here he was, in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar paintings and odd prints decorating the walls. Shifting slightly on the bed-like stretcher he was lying on, face down, making a spike of pain shoot up his spine and forcing a displeased grunt past his lips.

"That hurts."

"Oh, shut it. You agreed to this, remember?"

The voice held irritation and he could almost see the expression of barely contained rage in the other man's brown eyes, despite having his back to the man. Yes, Yugi had agreed to this, however, pain had not been a part of the deal.

"I didn't agree for you to hurt me." Another pained sound emitted from his lips, sounding awfully close to a whimper.

The stretcher rocked slightly when the man behind him shifted to the side, leaning forward so that he could growl directly into Yugi's ear and a strand of white hair tickled his chin.

"And I didn't sign up for listening to your bloody whining. Now shut up, I want to be done with this sometime today."

If the pain was a little more intense after that, Yugi didn't comment, nor did he let any other sound past his tightly shut lips.

-o-O-o-

It was late when he got home, throwing the car keys in the bowl next to the door and having to hold back a wince. Was that really supposed to hurt, moving your arm like that? Apparently, his lower back thought so. Yugi kicked off his sneakers, careful not to use any bold movements, and called out for his partner, both hoping and not hoping for an answer.

"Atem, you home?"

"In the kitchen, aibou."

When he listened more carefully, he could hear the faint rustle of pots, which meant that Atem was making dinner. For a moment, he entertained the thought of going straight to bed and feigning illness, or maybe a headache, anything that would put off the inevitable confrontation.

In the end, he decided against it, not wanting to worry Atem, and knowing that he only had himself to blame for all of this mess. Straightening up and putting on a smile, he padded into the kitchen and started setting the table. He could feel Atem's inquisitive stare and braced himself.

"Trouble at work?"

_If only. _

"No, why do you ask?

"You were late for one, and you seem to have a lot on your mind, last time I checked, the plates aren't usually placed on the chairs."

Yugi stopped and stared at the, partially, set table, where the glasses and forks looked rather lonely without the plates, which were indeed on the chairs. _Crap. _

"Aibou, has something happened?"

Yugi started when Atem's hand came to rest on his shoulder, not being able to hold back a wince and a whimper when the unexpected movement stretched his lower back rather painfully. This, of course, made Atem even more worried, Yugi could hear the panic lacing the outer rims of his next words.

"Aibou, you're hurt!"

There was no hiding it now, was it? Yugi sighed and turned to face Atem, smiling and ignoring any lingering discomfort.

"No, I'm not Atem, don't worry. It's nothing that an Aspirin and a little time won't cure, promise."

Taking in the confusion and less then amused expression on Atem's face, Yugi decided that further explanation was in order. What to say on the other hand…

"Look, it's easier if I just show you."

He started unbuttoning his shirt while once more turning his back to Atem, slowly lowering the shirt once he was done and bracing himself for impact.

First, there was a gasp, and then there was silence for so long that Yugi began to wonder if Atem had just up and left. Before Yugi could voice a question though, he heard what was, unmistakably, the sound of barely contained laughter. Yugi grumbled under breath.

"Yes, yes, very funny."

Atem wasn't trying to contain his laughter any more, spluttering out in-between fits of giggles.

"Aibou, what is that? And why does it have horns?"

Yugi rolled his eyes and turned to face the mirth in Atem's eyes.

"That would be Bakura's odd sense of humour."

"Alright, but why is it there in the first place? Not that it isn't very cute."

Yugi playfully jabbed his fist at Atem's arm.

"Oh, shut it." He couldn't hold back a grin of his own by now; after all it was all very silly. "If you must know, I lost a bet to Joey."

Laughing together certainly did wonders for the awkwardness Yugi had been feeling about telling Atem, and he wondered why he had been worried about it in the first place.

"But an ice cream cone?"

Yugi shrugged.

"What can I say, neither Joey nor Bakura would let me get the unicorn one. "

"Unicorn, is that why the horns are there?"

A new fit of giggles erupted from Yugi.

"Well, apparently Bakura thought that if I wanted a unicorn, he'd get me something better, namely his hair due, it has two horns after all."

Yes, it was no doubt a silly thing to do, but Yugi was never one to back down from a bet, even if it ended with his lower back sporting a tattoo in the shape of an ice cream cone, where the ice cream swirls wore the distinguishable shape of Bakura's horns.


	9. 31 Bubbles

**Title: **31. Bubbles

**Genre: **Angst

**Rating: **K

**A/N: **Another shortie drabble, this was planned to be something longer, but I soon realized that this was how it's supposed to be.

* * *

"_With all the power of the Millennium Puzzle, I break the seal!" _

He didn't know how many times the scene had played itself before his inner eye, nor which number in the row this was or how long it had been since the very first and fatal time. All that he knew was the shocked expression in the face of the once pharaoh, how he had screamed for Yugi not to do it, and how he had tried his best to keep his tears from falling when he told the spirit that the seal only needed one of them and that the one must not be the pharaoh.

He thought that he remembered seeing horror and sadness in the other's eyes, a regret so strong for what he had done. But had it been there or was it his mind playing tricks? Yugi knew himself well enough to know that it might be so, that it wouldn't have been the first time his mind told him a modified version of the truth to keep him sane.

Curling into a tighter ball inside the small bubble that held him prisoner in this dark place, Yugi let his thoughts wander dangerously close to the one thing that he had kept at bay for so long. What if the spirit had been planning this from the very beginning? What if the temptation of having Yugi's body for his own had been too great to resist? He instantly berated himself for letting the treacherous thoughts float to the surface. Of course the spirit had not done it on purpose, they were friends, and he would never do anything to hurt Yugi. Yugi fought to keep the doubts at bay, but a small voice in the back of his head kept pushing them back to the surface.

_Then why did you end up here?_

The whisper was barely loud enough to be heard, and yet, to Yugi, it sounded like a thousand trumpets screaming within his mind and he began rocking back and forth where he sat.

"It was a mistake, he didn't know, he thought he could control it! I warned him, I told him not to!"

_And did he listen to you?_

Yugi tried, he tried so hard, not to cry again, he felt his whole body shaking from barely contained sobbing as he whispered to the voice, to the darkness, to no one.

"No."


	10. So Many Tings to do Today

**Title: **18. So many things to do today and not enough time to do them

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort/Romance

**Rating: **K

**Note:** Maybe not exactly having much to do with 'today', but this is what came to mind. And once again I've fallen into the final moments of the series, I suppose that I have many different angles and possibilities that I want to explore.

Also, since it has been a while since the latest update, I'll post a couple of more shorties here in a minute. Happy reading.

* * *

He's torn, I can see it in his eyes. Even though we're separated, I still know exactly how he feels, because I feel it too.

"I've been selfish, Ya- ... Atem. I said that I wanted to show you the world, but truth is I just wanted you to stay."

"Aibou, I..."

"No, let me finish."

I lower my eyes and reach for his hand, it's warm, I've never held his warm hand before. I smile and stroke my thumb over his palm before looking back up at him.

"It's alright, Atem. I understand. There was so much we planned, so many nights of forever, but deep down, we both knew this day would come. And it's okay."

"Is it, aibou, is it really?"

He puts the hand not in mine on my cheek, wiping away the tears I didn't knew I shed. His eyes say so much and I can see how tired he is. I nod.

"Yes, really"

It doesn't matter that I wanted him to stay, it doesn't matter what plans I made or that the time has run out. All that matters is that he is happy, and no matter how much I wish for it, his true and complete happiness does not lie with me. Not like this, never like this.

"I love you, aibou."

Is that...tears in his eyes? It is, and I cannot help but smile, it's so unusual to see him like this, without his perfect control.

"I love you too, Atem, that will never change. So please, don't cry for me, we'll meet again sometime. I promise."

I see the question in his eyes; he's wondering how I can make such a promise. The truth is that I don't know how, I simply know we will.

"It is time, my pharaoh."

We both start at the words, the spell is broken and Atem once more puts on that mask of his, but he can't hide his eyes from me, he never could.

"Thank you, aibou."

I can't seem to speak any longer, so I nod. There was so much that I wanted to do with him, so much I wanted to show him, and I knew all along that there would be no time for it.


	11. 82 Things You Find in a Book

**Title: **82. Things You Find in a Book

**Genre: **Hurt/General

**Rating: **K

* * *

It never stopped to amaze me what you could find in a book. Hidden kingdoms, magic, dragons, tales of love and of war. I used to love books... until I found that one book.

I both wish that I had never found it and that I would have found it sooner. I'm not sure which of it I want the most. Maybe it's none of them. Wasn't I happy before I found them? Those awful photos. Of you and her, laughing, holding hands, kissing.

"How long have you've been playing me for a fool, for how long have you not been mine? For how long have you been coming to my bed right after leaving hers! "

I scream at the top of my lungs, tears running down my cheeks. You stare at me, you seem to be in shock, and I scream at you again.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not the one who cheated!" I throw the photos in your face; they fall, untouched, to the floor with the soft rustle of paper. You still seem to be in shock.

"What, you thought I'd never find out, that you could keep this up for as long as you wished? Well too bad you couldn't hide your photos better then!"

I take a few deep ragged breaths, breathing that seemed so natural only minutes ago are now a struggle. You still say nothing, staring at me in that shocked way, I cannot take anymore. With as much power I can muster, I slap you in the face.

"I hate you!"

I turn and run out of the room, out of the house, and I don't stop running.


	12. 74 Someday

**Title: **74. Someday

**Genre: **General/Romance

**Rating: **K

* * *

It wasn't yesterday, and it will not be today, maybe it is tomorrow.

I have so much to tell you. I want to tell you how your smile makes me smile, how your laughter makes my heart flutter and my mind soar.

I want to tell you how much I love that twinkle in your eyes when you've found a new game. I want to let you know that I love the way you smell and the sound of your voice.

I want to tell you that I love you.

Someday I will.


	13. 7 The Look in Your Eyes

**Title: **Thank you

**prompt: **7. The look in your eyes

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort/Friendship

**Rating: **K

**Setting: **Post-canon

**A/N: **I'd like to apologize for the slow updates. To make a long story short, RL is very busy and demanding. I haven't abandoned my stories though, even if progress will be made by a snails pace. I hope you'll enjoy my latest offering, which has been floating around in my head for a while now.

Many thanks to my lovely niece Kandy for reading this over for me. :)

* * *

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Yeah, but we all do, I'm no different from the rest of you."

It was quiet for a while, both of them lost in their own private thoughts. Unsurprisingly, it was she who first broke the silence.

"But you are different Yugi. You loved him."

He snapped his head around to look at her in surprise.

"I what?"

"You loved Atem."

She reached out and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, the smallest of smiles on her lips. She looked sad and worried, and Yugi suddenly felt guilty for worrying his friend. So what if he missed him? So what if he had loved him? It gave him no right to worry any of his friends, especially not Anzu. Dear, sweet Anzu who despite her own grieving had pulled through and been a rock to him these past months. No right at all.

So he willed the memories away, locked them in the back of his mind for now, and smiled his brightest smile. However, before he could say anything in response, Anzu spoke again and there was a slight tremble to her voice.

"Yugi, please don't do that. Don't smile and put on a brave face for me."

He tried to protest, still smiling.

"But Anzu, I'm fi-"

"No you're not."

She met his eyes and he could feel something inside of him break. Suddenly he was so tired of holding it all inside. He wanted to scream and cry, just like he had done during those horrible first nights after Atem left, but he couldn't do that to Anzu, not after all she had done for him. Instead, he squeezed her hand and smiled sadly.

"You loved him too."

"I did. Maybe. I mean, I think so…"she shook her head in frustration "Even if I did, it doesn't matter, it's not the same."

"What do you mean 'not the same'? Anzu, what…"

He trailed off, confused by the whole situation. Anzu looked so distressed and Yugi's heart ached with the need to make it all better, to make the pain go away, despite knowing that it was not possible.

She was crying now, her hands had somehow ended up holding Yugi's in a tight grip, as if they were a lifeline, the only thing keeping her from sinking too deep. She hung her head down, fixing her eyes at their entwined hands.

"It's not the same, because even though I might have loved him, _he _loved you. And that's good, it is as it should be. Two souls like yours and Atem's, you belong together. And honestly, I don't know what I'd done with myself had he loved me back. I don't know, because I don't know who I fell in love with."

She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"I don't know, Yugi. I don't know because how was I to know where 'Yugi' ended and 'Atem' begun? I thought that I loved you, and then I found out that there were two of you, two Yugis, I couldn't tell you apart. And I…I… I just don't know!"

"Oh Anzu, I'm so sorry."

Yugi pulled his friend close to him, hugging her tightly while whispering again and again how sorry he was. Sorry that he hadn't known about Anzu's inner turmoil, sorry about how he had been too lost in his own pain to fully see hers and sorry for having let her take care of him for so long.

And Anzu cried, sobbing into his shirt until it was soaked with her tears, telling him that he had nothing to be sorry for because how could he have known? It was her own fault for not knowing who she loved and she didn't mind taking care of Yugi, that doing so had helped to keep her afloat, to know that someone needed her and that she wasn't the only one hurting, even if it wasn't for the same reasons, had kept her going.

Yugi wasn't sure on how long they sat there on the couch, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it. He didn't know when he too had started crying, for how long they both had been sputtering out excuses nor for how long it had been quiet now.

The only thing he knew right now, and for now, he didn't want to know anything else, was that Anzu was warm and soft in his arms and that she had finally stopped her heartbreaking crying. He didn't want to think about anything, not the past and not the future. However, life was never that kind and memories never obeyed the wish of the person holding them. Before he knew it, he was talking again while absentmindedly stroking Anzu's hair.

"Even so, Anzu, I shouldn't have let you carry this burden alone. I'm afraid that I haven't been the best of friends lately and for that I am truly sorry. I should have known that you weren't feeling alright, and on some unconscious level, I think I did know. But instead of asking you about it, I turned a blind eye."

He had to admit to himself that he was shocked by how easy it had been to turn away from something that he instinctively had known would be painful. He had sensed that Anzu also loved Atem, even if he never dreamt that it could have been so stressing and confusing on her, after all, he himself had no trouble to tell himself and the spirit apart and it had not occurred to him that his friends might not. Moreover, even though he was pretty sure on the feeling that Atem had loved him, Yugi, not Anzu, the possibility that the pharaoh had been harbouring feelings beyond friendship for his childhood friend.., together with Atem being gone, it had been enough for him to ignore the signs.

"I don't think that I'll ever be able to tell you just how sorry I am, Anzu, but believe me when I say that I am. I'm never going to abandon you like that again, no matter how painful it might be for me. Atem and I, we never talked about it, and I know he liked you." A small chuckle escaped him "With your strength and caring nature, who wouldn't? I just hope that you one day will be able to forgive me for letting my doubts and fears get the best of me."

"Silly Yugi."

Anzu, who had been listening quietly with her head on Yugi's shoulder, sighed as she sat up to look him in the eyes. For a second she thought that if anyone came in to see the both of them in this state, eyes red and cheeks stained with tears, they'd be in a somewhat awkward situation. However, the thought came and went without really being noticed and Anzu felt her lips pull themselves into a smile. There was a warm feeling inside her when she once more reached out her hand, this time to place it on Yugi's cheek; it was warm, soft, despite the tiniest traces of pebble on it. He was really growing up, wasn't he? Still looking into his now confused eyes, she continued.

"Of course he loved you, not me, never me. Don't you ever doubt that Yugi."

"But, how can you know that?"

She continued as if she hadn't heard him.

"Then again, you weren't there, of course you weren't, so how could you know if he never said anything? If you had seen him, Yugi, when you disappeared, when that seal took you away, there is no doubt about it." seeing that he was about to protest, she continued "Trust me Yugi, he loved you, oh so much. But I guess that, sometimes, love just isn't enough."

With a sigh she let her hand fall and turned her head away. It had been so painful to see her friend and Atem separated and to see Atem leave. Not only because seeing them as they should have been, two individual persons, did nothing to help ease the anxiety she felt when wondering about whom she really loved, but also because she had seen the pain and loss on both their faces, in their eyes. Try as they might have had to conceal it, she had seen it, and it had grieved her even more to see two of her friends in so much pain.

"Even though I do not think that you have anything to apologize for Yugi, I forgive you."

As silence once more fell over the now darkening room, Yugi thought about Anzu's words and what they meant. For the first time since Atem had left, he felt at peace with himself. Anzu never lied, especially not about the important things, and even though she had chosen not to tell him about her conflicting feelings, he now knew that Atem's feelings hadn't just been a fantasy made up from how Yugi wished for it to be.

"Thank you Anzu. For everything."

* * *

Thank you for reading. :)


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